just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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