There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Vodka?
Forever.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
