hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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