Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
