I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He shit in the fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always down for nudity.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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