i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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