Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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