i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
