It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
