Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
