Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
