Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
