The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
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She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
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COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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