He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
