New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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