You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
