I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
