While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
