Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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