I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
