last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
