Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
