9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
