there's paper in my vomit.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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