I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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