Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
