no, he came in my armpit
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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