Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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