So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
