Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
