Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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