his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
