brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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