so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
