I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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