She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
