I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
