sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
