Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
