You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think my vagina is haunted
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
