So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
do herpes really smell.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The beers last night were like the tears from god
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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