Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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