Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
pray to the hookup gods
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
