I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize