so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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