One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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