so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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