can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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