just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
