ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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