Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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