Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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