she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
