handjob tips. give me some.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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