I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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