I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
