I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
