I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
