Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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