DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
