i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
