I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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