Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
