My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
