I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
