i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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