I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
